… that you could ever reach the point of perfect harmony and routine in your life? Where everything is caught up, you have the ideal routine established, one which always accounts for the unexpected without having a point of failure?
Is this just something those of us with ADHD struggle with, or is this typical for everyone? Or is everyone simply content with the routine they have that they never found the need to tweak anything?
I'm not complaining - my life is pretty good. Still. There are aspects of my life where I feel like I am constantly catching up, or chasing self-imposed deadlines. I still have hope that at some point I will find the point of singularity in my life, where all the current laws of time and space collapse and maybe I can find a pause. I have a feeling that this may not happen until the proverbial empty nest, when I will get caught up on everything in an attempt to distract myself from the sudden silence. This is still years away, though my daughter is days away from being over halfway there.
I have been arting - that never stops - though several of the things I am working on arent meant for public view. At least not right now. I suppose I could share the most recent addition to my travel paintbook from our weekend daytrip to the Conewago potholes south of the Three Mile Island. I was able to find a pause here.
Or rather, I demanded it, by firmly planting my tuchus on a boulder, opening up my book and palette, getting my brushes out, and informing my family that I need a break from chasing them all over the boulders up the river before I continue. At points, it felt less like an exploration and more like a family parkour event. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed that as well, but I had full intention of getting at least a quick painting down.
I really need to make an effort to go places by myself so I don't feel rushed (they did not rush me, but I knew they were waiting, which was enough for me). It is definitely a challenge to melt into the landscape when I am constantly catching up.